Have you ever had a problem following God? I know I have. In my salvation, God dealt with the fact that I didn't trust Him. I had to trust Him in order to be saved, but He had to work that trust in me. It seems, even today, I have difficulty trusting God. I know that God is more capable of directing my life than I am. As a matter of fact, I usually direct my life into a mess. When Mark and I were moving to Pontotoc, God used a U-Haul trailer to show me how I didn't trust Him. We filled the trailer with things we wouldn't absolutely need the next few days: old clothes, boxes and boxes of school junk, the other bedroom suit, etc. We headed down the Natchez Trace that morning. Mark had to drive carefully, allowing for the U-Haul trailer. I noticed that we weren't making as good time as we normally did. In fact, this trip was going to be slower than usual. I also noticed that going uphill was a very tedious procedure; the trailer balked and tried to slide down the hills. Sometimes Mark had to shift into a lower gear. However, the downhill trip was a completely different story. Going down was easier on the trailer, and, at times, I thought it would push us out of the way.
As I thought about that trailer behind us, God began to show me how much I was like that trailer. How many times have I balked going up life's hills? When God leads me into places I need to be or into situations I need to experience, as unpleasant as they may be, I just need to trust and follow Him. The more I balk, the longer the trip will be. But when life is going my way, or downhill so to speak, I get anxious and excited and quickly lose patience. At those times, I don't recognize my need for God and try to push Him out of my way.
Mark and I could have made the move without the U-Haul trailer, but we would have had to make many, many trips and waste valuable time. In the same way, God could have chosen not to use man in His work. Granted, the God who created and shaped this world without man could do His work without man. But the all-powerful, loving God chose to use man with all of his idiosyncrasies. The going is slower; He may even have to shift into a lower gear. I am sure that God gets frustrated at times, but God chose to use me. What a blessed thought! Me; little old me! God loves me and knows what is best for me. He sees the sharp curves ahead, the many uphill climbs, and the downward slopes. He's even traveled this way before! How can I not trust Him?!
As I travel life's road, God is using the hills to teach me to trust Him. It's a slow, hard process, but in the long run, I know it will be better for me. My prayer is that God will continue to give me enough faith day by day to follow Him. Fanny J. Crosby best describes my feelings in the song "All the Way My Savior Leads Me":
- Diana Fuqua