She began to think of ways to change herself. " Maybe a new hair style or a color to cover the gray. Maybe I'll go curly. I'll just go and tell Fran I want a complete make over, the works. I need a whole new me." With that thought in mind, she stepped up on the scales. "OH NO!" she shrieked. "Well it is out with the exercise video, and the lettuce again. Where did that extra 15 pounds come from? Not only am I old, I'm fat too! I'm not so sure that the mirror or the scales were such a great inventions." Abbey made up her mind to make the necessary changes, no matter what it took.
She was so busy weighing and examining herself, that she did not realize that someone was watching and listening. Suddenly, upon looking back into the mirror, she caught a glimpse of her husband standing at the bathroom door.
"Good morning beautiful," Jonathan said.
"Oh hush. I am not beautiful. How long have you been standing there anyway," she asked?
"Long enough to know that my lovely wife is in trouble."
"Trouble? What do you mean trouble?"
"Sweetheart, you are looking at yourself through the wrong eyes."
"Oh Jonathan, I just feel so old and dowdy. I just need to make some changes, to feel better about myself, and to lift my spirits, I guess. Sometimes, I wonder how you can look at me and still call me beautiful. What do you mean, looking at my self through the wrong eyes? I only have these two."
"Exactly!" he answered.
"What do you mean exactly? You have me really confused now.
"What do you say we finish this discussion over breakfast and I will explain. Right now I need to get dressed and find something."
Abbey went on to the kitchen, to fix breakfast. The house seemed so empty and quiet now without the hustle and bustle of children fighting over the bathroom. Everyone had always tried to sleep until the last minute, and then rushed to get dressed on time. They were all grown up and out on their own now. She enjoyed her new found freedom, but at times it made her feel sad and old. It seemed only yesterday that she and Jonathan were the young couple with the cute babies. Now those babies were her grandchildren. As proud as she was over her children and her grandchildren, that too added to her nostalgia today. Even more reason to make some changes in my life, she thought. Her mind was snapped back to reality, by the high-pitched sound of the smoke alarm. "Oh no, the toast!" she wailed.
Jonathan came running. Seeing no blaze, he fanned the smoke away from the alarm. "Honey are you okay? What happened?"
"Oh Jonathan, I just don't know what's the matter with me lately. I just can't seem to get myself together." Abbey was sobbing again.
He held the wife of his youth, in his arms until her sobbing subsided. "You go get dressed, I'll finish breakfast. Then we can talk."
"Honey that is sweet, but you have that meeting this morning, and Mrs. Johnson's surgery is this afternoon. You don't have time to be pampering a silly wife.
"Nothing is more important than you. Right now, my wife needs someone to talk to. Now you scoot on out of here, I have work to do." He could still hear her sniffing and sobbing as she walked down the hall. If he had learned one thing in all of their 35 years together, it was that women were different from men. Sometimes they just get in one of those moods, and nothing helps but a good cry. So he knew it was best to let her finish hers. Then he and she could talk it out together. "You know Lord, women are sure different from men, they are so emotional. Maybe that is what draws us men to them. Well one of the things," he thought, smiling to himself.
While Jonathan finished preparing breakfast, Abbey pulled herself together. She returned to the kitchen, just in time to see Jonathan lighting candles. Not only were there candles, he had set the table with their best china and crystal, and cloth napkins. She was impressed. To think, I was only planning juice, toast and coffee. Wonder what he is up to?" she thought.
Jonathan turned around and seeing Abbey, he smiled. "Have a seat your Highness. You see before you a breakfast fit for a Queen. We have the omelet, the orange juice, freshly squeezed, not frozen, coffee (2 sugars 1cream) and toast lightly buttered and browned to a turn. Is there anything else your heart desires?" With that statement, he pulled out her chair and bowed from the waist.
Abbey's eyes filled with tears again, but before she could start crying again Jonathan grabbed a small jar off of the counter. "Wait your highness, let me catch those tears of gold in my bottle. They are precious and must never touch the ground. They both began to laugh, and Abbey's heart began to lift, for the first time in a while.
"Oh Jonathan you really are too good to me, a little nutty perhaps, but good. I really do love you. I'm sorry I have been acting so silly lately." Abbey began to try to explain her feelings to her husband / pastor. She was not sure she could make him understand, or if she understood herself.
Jonathan listened intently, not interrupting until she was finished. "Sweetheart, I told you that you were looking at yourself through the wrong eyes. Let me explain. With your physical eye you see someone that has changed over the years, so do I. When you look at yourself in the mirror you see wrinkles, but I see character. You see gray hair, but I see wisdom. You step on the scales and you see plump and dowdy, but I see maturity. One day, not too long ago, when we looked in the mirror we saw youth and foolishness. Now, using the spiritual eye: once a long time ago, when we looked in the mirror, we could only see ourselves. We were shallow and lived only for self gratification. If it felt good, or promoted us in some way, we did it. Then one day God entered the picture. He sent us a man to explain the truth to us. Once we understood the truth. God lifted the veil and revealed himself to us. When we saw him, we were changed. The mirror that we use now reveals God in us and the more we see him the more he changes us. In II Cor. 3:18 it says that we 'are changed from glory to glory....' So you see, if you use the right eye you will see that you are being changed, just the way God would have you. And honey, I do hear what you are saying. I just don't see what you see. You were beautiful to me the day I met you, and to me you still are. I thought you worth having then, and I have not changed my mind, nor will I ever change it. I also know it is important to our flesh that we look and feel our best. So make what ever changes you want to the outside, because you can't change the heart. That is God's job, and in the heart lies the person that we really are."
Jonathan kissed his wife and headed to the door, "Gotta go, call you later. You make your appointment, if you want."
Abbey went with him to the door and reached out to hug him. "Thanks for understanding," she said as she put her arms around his waist. "Hmm, I know my arms used to go further around his waist than this," she thought to herself. She felt maturity. She looked up into his eyes. She saw character. She stroked his graying temples. She saw wisdom.
She watched as he walked out of the door and over to the church. "Lord, he really is so wise, and really is becoming more like you." She touched her own graying curls and thought, maybe I will wait a while, at least until I'm more sure of what I need to do."
"Lord, forgive me for being so silly. Please help me to grow more like you. Help me Lord to change from glory to glory. Thank you for such a loving and understanding husband. He always helps me to see things more clearly and to understand better the things you would have me to learn. Sometimes, though Lord it is hard to listen when things don't always go the way I want. Forgive me Lord, for not realizing that who I am is not what I see with my eye, but who you are making me to be," Abbey prayed as she cleaned off the table. As she lifted her plate, she found a surprise. Jonathan had left her an envelope. She opened it, and began to read it's contents. Her eyes filled with tears for the umpteenth time that day.
Later that day the phone rang. "Hello gorgeous. Just thought I would call and check on my sweetheart, and see if she would like to go on a Valentines date with me?" the voice on the other end said.
"She would love it. By the way, thanks for the note you left under my plate and for all the dirty dishes."
The voice on the phone laughed, "Well you can't expect me to be perfect, now can you? Well got to run for now. I'll be home later. Bye, love ya."
As Abbey hung up the phone, she clutched to her heart the note that Jonathan had left for her. In it were written the secret vows they had spoken to each other many years ago. Words not meant for other ears or eyes. Vows that reminded her just what their love was all about.
So as a new year dawns, and we look in the
mirror.
I urge you to look past the graying hair, wrinkles, and the few extra
pounds.
Look for what God has put in the heart for that is the real you, the
one
that others see. That is the one that really matters. Remember that we
are being changed, from glory to glory. We may not be who we should be,
but we are not who we used to be.
- Kate Fuqua