Abbey sat in her pew trying hard to concentrate on what her husband was preaching. Normally he gave her a preview of coming attractions, but this time he did not. Usually when this happened it meant the sermon had her name on it. Meaning she was in a mess.
"Wake up Abbey, she told herself. You know that God has something to say to you."
"Where does your joy come from?" She heard Johnathan say.
"Uh Oh, I was right," she thought. Just the other day she had been telling God, that she was sad and tired. She felt she had lost her joy. The church had seemed to be in a holding pattern for quite a while. It was winter all over! It seemed if this quite stillness would never end. There was no life, all seemed dead. There were lost people in the church, and it seemed as if no one cared. Why weren't they getting saved and why weren't others getting lost? Where was the joy and happiness the whole church used to feel? Where was the praise and the worship? Abbey wondered if they had all lost their joy at the same time or was it just her imagination. As Jonathan preached, some seemed to get help. She could tell by the expressions on their faces. They were getting the message. Abbey tried to get in and hear from God, but it was just too much for her to process all at once. She took notes and wrote down the scripture references, vowing to reread them later. She would even ask Jonathan to explain it over again if she needed to.
Sunday came and went, and there was no change in Abbey or her mood. She was not any happier or sadder, just sort of blah. "Maybe it is all due to the nasty weather that we have been having lately," she thought, trying to convince herself. "Maybe if I can just hold on till spring, it will all get better." She knew that in her heart that she could not wait that long to be better.
People needed her and expected things of her that she just did not feel able to give unless she got help from God. "Oh God, how could I be this sad and lonely, with you living inside me?' She prayed. " I would really like to hibernate till spring. I am so tired God. I feel dead and dry inside and out."
Abbey got up Monday morning and followed her Monday routine. Laundry, cleaning , cooking and nothing seemed any different. She read the scripture from the day before and rehearsed it in her head throughout the day. "The joy of the Lord is my strength, she remembered. "The Lord is the strength of my life," she told herself. "What was the other one I wanted to remember, something about God being our refuge and our strength, or something like that. Lord I could really use a refuge about now if your are listening." She planned to go back and look that scripture up again just as soon as she finished watering her house plants.
That was another thing that made her sad. Her beautiful house plants that had always thrived outside and in were not weathering well lately. One in particular was really sad. The summer had been very hot and dry leaving the poor plant looking half dead. She had watered and fertilized it faithfully but to avail. She was determined not to give up on it. She refilled her watering can and began to water and to feed it. She noticed that it was still losing blooms. She picked up the little bloom, and holding it in her hand, gently rubbed it across her cheek. "Lord, I can't even help this little plant, how can I help anything or anyone else. How did I get this way? How did lose my joy?"
"You haven't lost your joy my child, only your blossom," she heard someone say. "Just like the plant you still have life. The plant has lost it's blossom. The life is not in the blossom, but deep within the root." "Our joy comes from our root not our blossom. It is okay to be sad sometimes. It is only human to get tired and want to give up because of the circumstances around us. The blossom can be affected by it's environment and the conditions around it, but as long as the root lives the blossom will return."
Abbey felt warm inside for the first time in a while. She knew that she had been with God. He had taken a simple plant and had told her she was going to be okay. All that she had heard yesterday, God had just spoken to her heart and now it was clear. What was that statement that Jonathan had made yesterday. Happiness is an outward expression of an inward peace and joy. She was relieved to know that joy was in God and could never be lost or stolen. "But how Lord did I loose my bloom? What happened to my peace?" "My child it has been a dry and hard year. It was dry because I made it dry . I was
creating a need in my people. But you, my dear, lost faith. You stopped believing that I was in control and even doubted that I cared about what was happening all around you."
"Oh Lord your are right. How could I have ever doubted you. After so many years, how can I think that way? Oh, Lord forgive me. Please help me to grow up and be more mature. Help me to trust you in the summer and winter as well as the spring time of my life. Help me to always believe in the strength of your love, and to remember that you and you alone have the power to save. I love you Lord, you are so good to me. You owe me nothing, yet you speak to me and help me to understand your ways."
Abbey had not realized that she was still holding the blossom, until she felt a tear run down the bloom on to her finger. She wiped away the tear and put the bloom to her lips. She kissed the tiny bloom, but in her heart, she kissed the Son.
She looked down at the plant and saw in the place where the bloom had been, a tiny but real bud. There was life in the plant, and a new bloom was on its way. So ask yourself: "Where does your bloom come from?" I hope it comes from deep within your root who is the giver of life. If so, remember it may be winter, but your bloom will always return.
- Kate Fuqua