There he sits day and night, beside her bed holding her hand and talking. I pass this door so many times and see this same scene over and over. I've wanted so many times to stop and listen. It just seems too intimate, too personal. I want to stop, yet I feel I must pass. Something I do not understand seems to be pulling me to the doorway. I'll only stay a second or two, I promise myself. I won't make a sound; I just want to know a little more about this couple who some how have invaded my heart.
I stand silently outside the door watching. He holds her hand and begins to speak. His voice is so strong, yet gentle and soft, so loving. What is he saying? I can't quite hear; yet I know he is loving her with his heart and voice. I've seen this so many times with couples that have been together a long time. Yet this is different. I have to hear, so I move silently one step closer.
I can hear what he is saying now. He is reminding her of when they met- so young, just children.
He tells the story: "Do you remember dear the first day I saw you? I remember! I knew from that moment I loved you and I wanted to make you mine. You were so beautiful. You had eyes that could speak louder than words. Your hair was so shiny and long. Yet nothing could outshine your smile. My heart melted a little every time you looked at me. I knew I had to make you my own."
He got up from his chair by her bed now and walked to her side. He began to fuss over her oh so gently. He smoothed her covers and fluffed her pillows very carefully not to disturb any of the many machines that were attached to her frail body. He rubbed her cheek with the back of his hand and bent his tall frame down to gently kiss her cheek. She opened her eyes. He was right: they were beautiful. She was not able to smile, yet I knew she wanted too. Tears began to roll out of her eyes down on her pillow. He gently rubbed them away with his finger tips. She wanted to tell him something-it was clear. You could see it in those eyes. "I know, I know," is all that he said. She closed her eyes again and he kissed each eye lid. Then I saw him wipe both of his own cheeks with the back of his very large and strong looking hands.
He took her small hand in his and sat back down to finish telling her what was in his heart.
"Do you remember Dear, the day of our wedding? It was a gloomy rainy day outside, but the sun was shining in my heart. Nothing could cloud up my day. I finally was getting my dream come true. What you don't know was that I was so nervous. Really, I was just plain scared to death. How could I be so lucky? I sure didn't deserve anyone so grand as you. How could I ever make myself worthy of your love? Then I looked up, and there you were: all beautiful in your white wedding dress and your veil covering your face. I could see your smile, and suddenly all my fears vanished. I knew we were meant for each other, and somehow we would make it through. I know, Honey, I've given you reason to run out on me many times, but you never did. You always took the backseat, always putting me ahead of yourself. You always made me look good, you made me feel strong. But you know, Honey, to tell the truth, you are the strong one. You always have been, always there to pick up the pieces when the world wanted to pull me apart."
His voice had broken many times, yet he quickly regained his composure, until now. He laid his head down on her bed, and holding her tiny hand in both of his, he began to sob.
He had stopped talking to her now. What was he doing? I felt sure he must be praying. I felt I was intruding, just like I'd tapped in on a private conversation on a party line. Yet I couldn't move. To see this couple and their love for each other. To hear him cry and pray for his loving wife was more than I could bare. My heart was filled with love and compassion for this couple. This was a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time, and I liked it. "Oh, God," I whispered silently, "if only others can share this feeling and the love this couple has for each other. Oh, Lord, please help them; please hear their cries. God, he loves her and needs her desperately. How can he go on with out her? Please Lord, heal her body, make her well and whole again. Lord, her children love her, they need her and depend on her. Lord, no one can take her place in their lives. Lord, how will they go on? So many depend on her, Lord, and so many lives have been changed because of her life.
I began to feel something different and wonderful. It is hard to explain the feeling I had. It was warm, comforting and reassuring. God was there with me; could this man feel it, too? Did he feel as comforted as I did?
God began to speak to my heart, now. His voice was strong and gentle. It was almost audible. Could this man hear what God was saying to me?
"My dear child," God spoke. "I'm here. I did hear your cry for these, my children. Yes, they are my children. Just as you are my child, so are they. Oh my dear, he remembers the day they first met - I remember the day they first met me. I knew from the beginning of time that they were to be mine. But the day my voice, my life became real to them was a great day for us all. He remembers their wedding day - I remember a day they not only heard my voice, but gave their life to me. The day I covered them with the blood of my son. I know their fears. I know their pain. My child, I will not let them be afraid. I'll always be here to comfort and ease their pain. I know the desires of their heart. I know of their love for each other, but it can't compare to the love that I have for them. Remember, I gave my son's life for them. I gave all I have. So you see, their love for each other can't compare to my love for them. I know what they do for others; not one thing they have ever said or done has gone unnoticed. Not one life that their love touches will ever go unchanged. Just as the day I became your Savior, I also became your Lord. I am also their Lord and I know what's best. I have not changed my mind about you, nor about them. I can't tell you of my will for their lives just as I can't tell you all the plans I have for your life. I ask you, my child, just to trust me. My plans are good ones and will bring glory to my name as long as you trust me.
"Oh Lord, what can I do for this couple?"
"Continue to pray for them. Pray believing that I am in control and that I know what is best. Pray for their strength in trusting me. Stand by them, loving them, listening to him as he talks and comforting him. Be my hands to touch him; be my mouth to console. Let me love them both through you. Never forget them as time goes on. But most of all, trust me and help them to trust me, too."
"Yes, Lord," was all that I could whisper. The man kneeling by his wife's bed was beginning to stand now.
The room fell silent again, still and calm, yet different. It was peaceful. I turned to slip away when the man said, "wait, don't go. I want you to meet my loving wife." He turned and smiled at her. I'm not sure, but I think I saw her smile back.
I left that room changed. I knew my life would never be the same. Oh what love!
Yes, Lord, you really are in control and no one can ever love us like you do.
- Kate Fuqua